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Monthly Archives: January 2016

A Right Cock-Up: Hilarity Ensues As Council Workers Paint Huge Tarmac Penises For Fun & Profit

A residential area in Tamworth, Staffordshire has become the talk of the Internet after council workers painted a bunch of dicks on the tarmac there.

Staffordshire County Council contractors Amey were tasked with the job of re-painting some old road markings in the area and apparently, they decided to get a little bit creative with the task. Using their school desks and the cubicle walls of gents toilets for artistic inspiration, the team apparently painted a dazzling array of gigantic penises all along the tarmac.

Featuring members of many different shapes, sizes and states of apparent arousal, the phallic paintings have angered local residents who, yknow, didnt necessarily want dicks painted on the floor outside their houses.

The official line is that the paint somehow caused a reaction with the existing markings, creating the distinctly adult imagery completely by accident. Uh huh.

Now, is it easier to believe that Staffordshire County Council has access to magic penis paint, or that the workers got a little bored and covered the street in dicks?

Given the amount of the constantly complaining, utterly humourless residents frequently quoted in articles, the street appears to be full of uptight pricks anyway, so its likely that the contractors didnt think anybody would notice a few more.

Since The Penis Incident, the Council has received a bewildering 300 complaints about the “disgusting mess” caused by a bit of magic paint and a few repressed urges. 300? The average fella wouldnt get that many complaints if he took his actual penis out at a gathering of 300 people!

Resident Graham Wood (no joke, thats really his name!) was quoted by Yahoo! News as saying, “There are some very bizarre, obscene shapes. One of them looks like someones giving someone the finger sign”.

Well, if you can create a detailed hand giving someone the finger using road paint, Id say that youre probably some sort of artistic genius. However, my personal favorite is still the extra long, almost mournful penis that appears to be dragging his two big balls across the street in search of food…Theres just an unspoken poetry to it all if you ask me.

Apparently, the paint settled down long before the local residents did and any surviving penises have since been hunted down and eliminated by the contractors.

All joking aside (but not for long, I promise!), whether the phalluses were painted there deliberately or not, this story really serves to highlight what a humorless bunch of dicks the British public can be at times.

Wrestling Star Challenges Presidential Candidate

In the wake of Hulk Hogan’s racist outburst about his daughter dating a black man, another racially charged issue has emerged from the weird and wild world of pro wrestling.

TNA wrestling star Tigre Uno, who has also wrestled for Mexico’s AAA (Asistencia Asesoria y Administracion) promotion as Extreme Tiger (sometimes written as Xtreme Tiger) has issued an open challenge to US Presidential candidate Donald Trump, over statements made by the latter regarding Mexican immigrants in the US.

Trump, himself an inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame and a personal friend of WWE boss Vince McMahon, made a number of ill-conceived public speeches wherein he blamed illegal Mexican immigrants for bringing drugs and crime to the country, before further suggesting that Mexican immigrants were more likely to be rapists than anybody else in the US.

He then promised that, if elected, he would build a great wall along the US/Mexican border. And no, Mr. Trump wasn’t trying to audition for Robert De Niro’s role in Machete either…

In an act of sheer, thoroughbred lunacy, Trump announced his desire to be US President by uttering the following “They’re sending us not the right people,” he said, followed by “The US has become a dumping ground for everyone else’s problems” and also “They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing their problems,”

“They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists, and some I assume are good people but I speak to border guards and they tell us what we are getting.” He went on.

Mr. Trump then declared that the American Dream was dead and that current President Barack Obama had turned the US into a third world country- which is actually quite funny, when one considers that, if his statements were accurate, the opulence in which Mr. Trump actually lives would make him the latter day equivalent of a feudal lord.

In response to this nonsensical tirade, Tigre Uno began to author a series of Tweets challenging Trump’s views. He then delivered a heartfelt interview – in Spanish – to the viewers of TNA’s most recent Impact Wrestling broadcast. The video package featured shots of Tigre in his hometown of Tijuana speaking with local people and spending time with his children.

In a surprisingly cool and patient manner, the masked luchador said “I believe that Mexico is a great country. I have lived my whole life here in Tijuana. Mexicans are just passionate about our people. We are so proud of our history, who we are. We are very hard working people, we love our country. We are so proud of our culture and we love our lifestyle”

When asked to discuss Trump’s claims, Tigre responded, “Mostly all Mexicans who come to America are good people. They are good workers. They are artists, they are plumbers, they are carpenters, they are construction workers – some are even landlords. The people who come to the United States work hard, they come to do good things, come to make a life for themselves and their families”

Then, his point made, Tigre officially challenged Donald Trump to come to the next Impact Wrestling broadcast, saying, “I’m going to show you who a real Mexican is and who the real Mexicans who came here to work are. Not all Mexicans are bad. I’m Tigre Uno and I invite you to come to Impact Wrestling”

Fans have criticized TNA for attempting to capitalize on the furor surrounding Trump’s comments, but the reality is that Tigre originally made his statements without consulting the company and that TNA only became involved once they had ascertained that Tigre was indeed the author of the Tweets.

If Trump does turn up for the taping (which, quite frankly, would be a huge surprise in and of itself), he’s in for a long night. Trained by Rey Misterio Sr (Uncle of former WWE Champion Rey Mysterio), Tigre Uno has a long history not only of brutal, all out ring wars featuring tables, ladders and the like, but also of performing graceful aerial maneuvers that seemingly defy gravity.

Tigre is the current reigning TNA X-Division Champion and has also held AAA’s Cruiserweight and Tag Team Championships, as well as winning the 2011 Rey de Reyes (King of Kings) tournament.

Yes, wrestling may be a scripted show, but that doesn’t mean that Tigre couldn’t do some serious damage to Trump if he got the chance…

Two Way Radio, What Does It Essentially Mean?

Basically, the name two-way radio means that the radio in question can both transmit and receive signals. The two-way part of the name refers to the sending and receiving of said messages.

Some radios, such as the AM or FM radio you might listen to in your car, can only receive incoming signals, whilst other radios can only transmit signals. A two-way radio, however, can both intercept incoming messages and relay outgoing messages, because of this; two-way radios are a type of transceiver.

At its most basic, a two-way radio is a device that receives radio waves through the air and transmits a return signal.

How it does this is actually rather ingenious. Let’s say a user receives a message on her radio. The antenna on the top of the radio houses a group of electrons, these electrons will respond to messages received on specific channels (different groups of electrons respond to different channels). The electrons will then translate the radio waves into electrical impulses, which are then fed to a small processor. The processor, in turn, converts the electrical impulses into a signal, which the radio’s speakers can then play aloud.

The process is reversed if our hypothetical user is replying to her message, in this instance, the vibrations that constitute her voice will rattle a small membrane inside the microphone. These vibrations are fed into the processor, which converts them into an electrical signal. The electrical signal is pushed out to the electrons in the antenna and the signal is broadcast to our other user.

So you see, the process is clearly working on a two-way basis, hence the name. Two radios, when set to the same channel, should never have any problem connecting with one another (even if they are manufactured by different brands). The communication is pretty much instant, which is a big reason why radios play such an integral part in many areas of our lives, such as travel, security, commerce, public safety and trade.

It is important to note, however, that a radio set to receive VHF (Very High Frequency) signals will be unable to communicate with a radio set to UHF (Ultra High Frequency) mode. There is virtually nothing at all that can be done about this.

Of course, the other name used for handheld transceivers in walkie-talkie, but we reckon that one’s pretty self-explanatory…

Important things about Purchasing a Two Way Radio for your Restaurant

Running a restaurant is hard. Personnel in different areas need to communicate well in order to provide the best dining experience for customers. The conventional way people restaurant staff communicate is by shouting or talking loudly at each other. While this can be an effective way to communicate – this method has worked for years – it turns a restaurant into a noisy and chaotic place. Many customers are actually looking to dine in peace. So having all those noises, even if they are meant to provide better service, can actually turn off customers. Restaurant staff can communicate without disturbing the dining experience of customers with the use of walkie-talkies. two way radios for restaurants provide plenty of benefits. The most important ones are discussed below.

A good Investment

Many restaurant owners are having second thoughts about buying walkie-talkies because of the additional investment that it entails. The hesitation is understandable since running a restaurant is expensive as it is without a communication system. But if you are a restaurant owner, you can look at buying a walkie-talkie as a good investment. Having a walkie-talkie for your restaurant can help you serve your customers more efficiently . It can improve customer turnaround time and it can help provide a better dining experience for your patrons. All of these improvement can translate to more profits for your restaurant. So if you are looking for a way to improve your operations and make more money in the process then improving communication system by getting walkie-talkies is a good idea.

Improve Communication

In any organization, good communication is important. A bad communication channel can ruin the good relationship among the staff and between a manager and the people around him. If you own a restaurant, then you probably already know that it is a pressure-packed environment. It doesn’t take much for someone to crack under this kind of pressure. A good communication tool such as walkie-talkie can help ease the pressure. It can avoid miscommunication. If you are a manager, for example, and you noticed that tables are not set yet. Instead of shouting across the room and creating an angry atmosphere in your restaurant, you can simply relay your instruction on the walkie-talkie.

Choosing the right Walkie-Talkie

Of course, not all restaurant walkie-talkies are the same. Some are better than others. Not all walkie-talkies are created equal. When choosing a walkie-talkie, the first thing that you need to consider is performance. The system should be able to provide clear audio that has the ability to break through the noise that is usually present in a restaurant. A bad walkie-talkie can affect your business as adversely as the absence of a walkie-talkie system. Can imagine a restaurant staff trying to decipher the message being relayed by his manager over a walkie-talkie that is sending choppy signal? This kind of scenario can turn into a tragedy very quickly. The next thing that you should look for is comfort. The walkie-talkie should allow freedom of movement for the staff to be able to perform their job well.